There have been many times in my life where I’ve caught scorn for not “acting like an adult”. I am almost thirty. I am responsible, I pay my bills, I do my work. I look after my pets, and if I had children, I’m sure I’d be a much better parent than those people who chastise me for being childish. But because I have engaged in behavior that somehow does not fit their idea of what an adult should do or be, somehow I am less of a person.
Let me tell you something. Their idea of adult is BORING. And not only boring, but poisonous.
If I were to step up to their idea of adult, I think I’d honestly be less interesting to be around, and one hundred times more dislikable.
I wouldn’t be allowed to say the word “fuck”, because it’s vulgar and childish. Nevermind the fact that as a “naughty word”, most people won’t allow their children to say it. Because obviously, as a grown person, who knows what the word means and how to use it, I should still be restricting my vocabulary.
I wouldn’t be allowed to speak my mind, because that can offend people. I should, instead, be trying to get along with people I don’t even like, because avoiding them or actively criticizing their actions that I dislike is somehow playground stuff.
I wouldn’t be allowed to walk away from a situation I no longer want to be in. I would be required to stay and try and work things out, even though I already know it isn’t going to happen. True story: I once had a roommate that I got into a big fight with. We had been friends prior to me moving in, but we just were not compatible living partners (and she turned out to be a huge immature bitch). Being the “adult” she was, instead of telling me to my face that something I was doing bothered her, she whined to her online friends, exaggerated and just plain made up lies about me, and did little annoying things to spite me. During the final big fight, where I informed her that I would be moving out, she flipped her shit, told me I was a child for running away instead of trying to fix things. Really, what WAS there to fix? My reasoning was that if we were not living together, there’d be less situations to be pissed off at each other and we could remain friends by hanging out.
Her mature response: No. Leaving will not fix this. If you leave, our friendship is done.
She truly was big on the whole “I am an adult, and if you don’t act like I do, you’re just a child”. Her idea of being a good upstanding person was that she never drank, smoked, did drugs, or had sex. As far as I know, she’s still a virgin. Is it just me, or is it every single person I meet who has that attitude are the most immature of all? I’ve met plenty of people who drink and smoke, and while those activities are certainly not healthy, this in no way changed my opinion on whether or not they were an awesome person in general.
These “adults” seem to be driven by negative emotions which they then justify with their age. Oh, they’re over 18 but they’ve never known fun or humor in their entire life, so anybody else who does is immature.
No sorry, it doesn’t work that way. In order to be a true responsible adult, an intelligent human being, you have to get rid of those negative emotions, and look at situations from a logical point of view, which is what I had been doing in the roommate example above. What is truly childish? Spite. Jealousy. A holier-than-thou attitude. If you think you’re somehow better than somebody else just because they use the word “fuck” or like sex, or porn or any other uh… adult activity, then you don’t belong in the adult category. You are mentally juvenile, and you’re going to stay that way unless… well, no unless. People like that rarely change.